Actually, to me it sounds like you are more the One Down, rather than the One Up... because of the sympathy/empathy factor. Your sense of self worth is being trumped by emotional manipulation.
I'd say in your first M, you may have been the Sweet One Down.
Keep in mind that One Ups are typically emotionally distant or unavailable, and there is usually a very firm sense of 'in controllness' to them...
No offense, but you don't really hit me like this, regardless of how much your self-esteem issues have improved.
You sound more like "The Echo." I can email you the description if you want... but in order to bring yourself back into balance, a situation like you described would actually require of you to actually challenge the man's willingness to be close to you in a reasuring manner... outright risking the rejection you so fear. If his response and subsequent behavior failed to reassure you, you would actually confront the situation, telling yourself that you can 'survive on your own.' You would pull back rather than relive another demoralizing One Down experience. THAT is counter-intuitive for you.
Quote:
I would initiate sex and the reason I would do it would be because I would feel sympathy or empathy for him and want to be kind.
This is duty sex, Mo. That is the EXACT thing that propels an LD to have sex... and what eventually, completely and utterly destroys their sex drive.
