I agree with Bear. You gotta quit looking at W's profile. She is not the person you thought she was. You can't fix her or change her. You can't make her change her mind. The sooner you come to terms with that the more relaxed you will be. I guarantee it. Even now that H is home and we are doing very well, I make sure that I am not trying to force my opinion on him. I am controlling. I know it and it's easier now that I've let go. It will be easier for you too. I don't remember who said it, but it was something that I came across here when reading a lot of posts, "I will not try to control my S. It is not my responsibility to be in control of every situation I am in. I will enjoy the freedom I gain from not being in control."
It is a paraphrase, but they are very wise words. I have been working very hard to live by them and they do make life easier. I acknowledge that my H is an intelligent human being who can make his own decisions. He lived and thrived before he met me and would do so if I weren't around. So why should I have to "control" his decisions now? I don't. That has made me a much more relaxed person. I can't change what he did anymore than he can change some of the dispicable things that I have done. We move on.
Work very hard at detaching. The less you think about your W the better, more relaxed you will feel. It doesn't mean you love her less. It means you love her enough to let go.
Me: 37 H: 35 M: 6 T: 8 2 cats, 1 dog, 0 kids S: 09/10/07 D started 9/21/07 (I stalled) Piecing: 11/9/07
