8:45 Sunday morning WAW calls to ask if I was taking 5D to church. I said yes and was on my way. She then says that the outfit I brought for her to wear two weeks ago is to small now. So, we discussed alternatives. 8:55 - WAW calls back needing panty hose for 5D. I said I had a few different kinds and what let her pick what is best. Validating her decision and illustrating that I cannot replace WAW as she stated a week or so ago. 9:10 - Arrive to pickup 5D for church. She asked me to watch dog in yard as he went to do his business. Then, 5D exits the house and WAW talk a bit. -First thing WAW said was she had a rough week and meant to call me about a message my grandfather left looking for me. I told her I knew what it was about and described a silly situation where he was trying to call my sister and calling a whole bunch of people to get me to talk to her. WAW said she didn't understand and I said yeah it's a mess I told them to leave me out of it. -#2 - WAW said her church got out later than mine and wanted me to take 5D to eat lunch or something. At first I thought she was asking me to go to lunch with her but then I realized I was off on that. #3 - Immediately after that I said that I wasn't taking 5D to a family get together that is always on 2nd Sunday of the month. She asked why and I said I've tried to tell you why I've been unhappy all this time and I do not want 5D around my parents. I said I don't like it but I've accepted it. She does not have the whole story here but it does validate her feelings about my folks. #4 - I asked about her foot that she bashed into dishwasher as she was talking on the phone with me and she held it out for me to look at. I said that must have hurt and it's red but at least you can move it. #5 - WAW shared that she was going to go out of town to get dog food and how he was sick night before. I said I could watch him while she was gone if she wanted. She declined and said that he seems better now and told me about the eggs she fixed him night before that he got sick on. I said his business wasn't runny so maybe he was better and we laughed about it. ---All very pleasant, nice, hopeful, ... then as I was leaving with 5D, #6 - WAW quitely with her head down says,"If I(me) am paying for lawyer, I need to get them on the ball." It kind of surprised me, but I said "Yeah, you are right about that." and headed to church. Put me in a yuck mood.
Took 5D to lunch after church and when I took her to WAW's I got out and knocked on door. #1 - WAW looked great and I said, "You look really cute." She said,"Why thank you." I commented on her hair and she said she had just curled it. I said it looked good. #2 - Told WAW what 5D had/had not eaten. She seemed surprised. #3 - Told WAW about prayer 5D shared with me at the end of church. 5D told me that God told her that he loved her. WAW smiled and 5D was grinning and laughing cutely. #4 - Got hugs/kisses from 5D and stated to WAW to be careful on her trip out of town and left.
Positives 1) pleasant 2) WAW sharing good bits of her life, rough week, going out of town, church schedule, dog sick, etc. 3) let me look at her foot 4) spoke to me a good while 5) noticed my change wrt my parents. 6) Validated her several times, rough week, foot, etc...
Negatives 1) she mentioned lawyer - I think she was probing to see what I was doing. This is also a positive - I do not think she is going to file fault papers(untrue and she cannot win)
So, then I call sister in the afternoon...after a good bit of talking, I may have violated a DB rule. She suggested I get some flowers and put on the step while she was out of town as a friendly gesture. So, I went to town and got some small carnations, didn't cost much at all, and wrote a note saying, "Here's hoping you have a better week." Didn't address or sign it. I think it's a friendly gesture but it could be thought as pursuing. It is definitely something different and validates her rough week. Perhaps, she will think of it like that.
Thoughts/Plans 1) Need to hold off on letter until next week because of flower thing. 2) I need to tell her why I was unhappy in a letter, apologize and explain what happened to give her the last straw. 3) I need to tell her about my parents and why I do not want 5D around them. She does not have the whole story...I will have to do this in person. 4) I need to tell her things that I am doing that effect 5D.
this seems like a lot...but I feel like I need to illustrate changes in my life and how it effects 5D. So, one-way or another I will have to tell her. I think I just need to do it a little at a time...time will tell
My PMA is great. And I know I can life without her. I just will not give up until she at least has the whole story. If she still feels the same then I guess I have nothing left except a life for myself that I can life with.
