I fell apart yesterday. H didn't call all day. Took the Ds shopping as we needed to get a book for a project. Bought myself flowers again as a spirit lifter, but they didn't work too long. At 5:30 we still hadn't heard from H. Sunday is pizza night for us and H normally stops by. I asked the Ds if they wanted to go out and they said yes. A few minutes from our house I see H but he still doesn't call when he gets home. D10 started complaining about stuff on the way. I lost it and basically had a break down in the car. I told them I can't take it anymore and they need to start talking to their dad especially about things that he does that upsets them. I turned around and headed home because I knew I couldn't go out and pretend to be happy. I let the Ds out and told them their dad would need to take care of dinner. Then I drove to a park and broke down and called a mutual friend and let all out.
H could actually tell that D15 was upset and asked what was wrong. That is amazing since he is so self absorbed. She let him know they don't like him on the computer and phone when he is around. I don't know if they told him about my breakdown. I guess H tried calling while I was talking to the friend. Knowing him he was just calling to see what he should do about dinner. H never said a word to me about anything when I got home. I guess that might be uncomfortable. I felt horrible letting that all out on the Ds and I know they were worried about me. D10 said she thought I was going to kill myself. I told her I would never do that to them. (Like I would leave them to H.) We so desperately need family C but I know H won't do that as it would be uncomfortable for him.
I fell apart yesterday. H didn't call all day. Took the Ds shopping as we needed to get a book for a project. Bought myself flowers again as a spirit lifter, but they didn't work too long. At 5:30 we still hadn't heard from H. Sunday is pizza night for us and H normally stops by. I asked the Ds if they wanted to go out and they said yes. A few minutes from our house I see H but he still doesn't call when he gets home. D10 started complaining about stuff on the way. I lost it and basically had a break down in the car. I told them I can't take it anymore and they need to start talking to their dad especially about things that he does that upsets them. I turned around and headed home because I knew I couldn't go out and pretend to be happy. I let the Ds out and told them their dad would need to take care of dinner. Then I drove to a park and broke down and called a mutual friend and let all out. 
