So I've spent the last couple days in a swing of introspection, frustration, and just thinking.
Also had a phone conversation with W tonight which (surprise, surprise) further cemented that she's not the person I thought she was. What it came down to was my opinion was fairly meaningless, and even my request that she replace the two pictures from our honeymoon that're on her match.com profile with other ones was met with hostility.
"I'm not ashamed of my past / I have nothing to hide / I like how I look in them" . . .nevermind that it's an insult to me to have them up on her profile. I didn't expect her to care, honestly.
TB, KerryK, I think you're right. It may be better in the long run that this happened now. No children, no house. It still hurts like hell, but I've already learned some lessons. I feel like I'm getting into the game a bit late at 26, honestly, but I also realize that's still pretty young.
Bear --
I know now, especially after tonight's phone conversation, that I can't "fix" her. She won't even see or listen to anyone else's viewpoint but those of herself and her supporters. It's no longer worth my time or energy.
I do have Divorce Remedy...but honestly I don't know if I'm ready to forgive her yet. She hurt me a lot - not just once but on several occasions - and at this moment I'm more trying to forget her than forgive her.
That will come in time, if it does at all. Because if I do choose to forgive her, I want it to be genuine - not just surface words that're said to sound pretty.
*deep breath*
It also helps that a couple of my friends have complimented me on how I'm handling this - and one actually said that she thought I was stronger than she would be in a situation like mine.
Like I quoted awhile back...I've got a long way to go, but I'm keeping my eyes on the road.
