My goodness..it's been awhile since I've been here.
So many new names. I wonder where all the old-timers have gone? I guess many of us have accepted what was dealt to us, and learned (or are still learning) to start living our lives for ourselves.
It's been over a year now since the divorce was granted. XH is still with OW. I have only seen him once since the divorce in 2006..and we live in a very small town. Actually, I'm in retail, and I saw him in the store. I dont' think he saw me, but I'm sure he knew I'd be working. He was hunkered down by one of the display racks. When I saw him shopping, I just kind of looked at him, and realized that although it shook me a little, the feelings I feared I'd feel weren't there. It didn't shake me to my core like I had imagined. I guess I wish he'd do his (and her)shopping somewhere else in town, but I would imagine anytime she can get him there with her, and I'm working, it's a point for her. At this point, I don't really care. Just wish they'd take it somewhere else.
The holidays were fine here, although I did tend to go down memory lane more than I had the last couple of years. I think XH got together with one boy right before Xmas, and just got together with younger son this last week. XH had called a day before sons birthday and asked about getting together. THEN the day before their date, XH called and said it would be more convenient for him to get together that night, instead of on sons bday ..????????? Sigh. Guess Twinkie didn't want him to be away from her side that night..or maybe she was just a little bit jealous of him spending time with one of his sons.
All in all, we could be doing worse, but I wish we were doing better. It still seems as if the boys and I are all still at loose ends. It's been a major thing in our lives, and I guess I can't expect everything to fall into place. There has to be repairs made in all of ourlives.
Please keep your faith, LBS. Put your trust in God, and not in anyone else. I truly believe that His will will be the best for us, even if it's something we originally didn't want to accept. Work on strengthening your own self confidence, your own self worth, your own self-pride. Learn to do things for yourself that you never have before. Every step in that direction is a step in the direction of being more independent and surer of yourself. I bet pretty soon the people around you will start to notice the change too.
I've got so many things I want to change about my life, that I feel paralyzed at times. So I know I have to take teeny steps to start out, and then larger ones as I go along. Progress..slow by steady.
You're in my prayers..each of you
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
