And let me say that I think you need to be quite careful. You seem to be considering this with the best of intentions; however, we all know how our best intentions can go awry. Certainly socializing one-on-one with someone of the opposite gender, while you are still married, is asking for trouble -- on more grounds than just spiritual or moral. If you have a lawyer and you truly are facing a D, then that lawyer would strongly advise you against any "dating", especially with any children in the picture.
But it's on the spiritual side that has the most thorns. It's one thing to socialize in mixed groups, or one-on-one with someone of the same gender, but anything else introduces a slippery slope. You start out saying you are only in this for Z and that you're only going to go this far, and before you know it you're way beyond. This is undoubtedly what ensnared our spouses in the first place.
There is a chapter in the DivorceCare program that warns of dating and sexuality too soon after the big D -- and so getting involved before the D would be even more dangerous. It takes time to properly heal from a D, and involving someone intimately into your life before that is complete is unwise and harmful to both parties.
