HELP!! my 25 y/o H walked out... maybe mlc? HELP!!

[darkestangel]

Things with H have been back and forth. He called me Friday night to tell me he went car shopping. Before we got married, he had an 03 Ford Mustang, and after I got pregnant, he traded it in for a focus, which we could afford easier. He owed more on the Mustang than it was worth, so that extra $$ got rolled over onto the Focus. Now, he still owes more on the focus than what it's worth, but he wants to trade it in for the IDENTICAL 03 white Ford Mustang he used to have! He went and test drove a few, and actually sat down to do the paperwork, but he said that he couldn't get the payments down as low as he would want it. Its crazy because he only has 2 more years on the car loan on the Focus and he's willing to trade it for the Mustang with a new 5 YEAR loan?

He left a funny comment on my myspace today, which I thought was cute. At least he's not ignoring me completley. But he has this attitude most of the time like he thinks we're friends. H talks about his OW sometimes, and I've had to tell him that I don't want to hear about how much fun she is, or whatever.

On Saturday, H was supposed to pick up D3 at noon. He calls a few minutes past noon and asks when I'll be there. I said, "I thought u were picking her up?" And he got made. then he says, "Well, on Monday you better be here to pick her up in the afternoon then!". I said, "No, you are the one who decided to leave. you have to come pick her up on Saturdays, and then drop her off on Mondays. That was our agreement." not in a mean way, but very cool and confident. Then he snaps, "Fine MASTER! Whatever." and hangs up.

He shows up a half hour later, saying, "Oh, sorry I was such a jerk earlier. hey- by the way, is it okay if I borrow $200 from you? it's for a friend." I said, "No, i don't have any extra money. I need the money I have for rent." (which is true). H says, "Nevermind, I'll jsut borrow it from my mom" and dropped it. he ran out the door with D, which is odd cuz usually he'll sit and play with her for a few minutes.

We have a joint checking account, which I check online. I also opened my own checking account after he left. I went online to balance my checkbook, and I was really surprised to see H's finances. He has direct deposit, and it looks like he's skipping ALOT of work. Normally, H can clear $750+ in a week, and his past 3 paychecks (since he moved out) have all been less than $350. i think he's skipping work to spend time with his OW. I also noticed that he hasn't written ONE single check to pay any bill since he moved out, including his car loan which was due a month ago. I'm handling all the bills in my name, as welll as all of the household bills, but I think he's being very very irresponsible with his finances.

We had a talk about OR last week (which I know I'm not supposed to do, but it's hard not to). He says that he never realized how much free time he never had to himself before he moved out. Now, he can watch tv/ play games all day long, go to the gym when he wants, spend money as he likes and not worry about anything because his mom cooks/ cleans for him. I said, "Of course it's easier to be single. I would love to haev no responsibilities and go out and party whenever I liked. But I'm a mom, I have day-to-day responsibilities to taking care of D3 and making sure our household runs smoothly."

Sometimes I feel like i give up. I feel so hurt and betrayed that I just want to give up hope and let go for good. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm better off without him. But I took my marriage vows seriously. I take my role as a mother seriously. I love my H, faults and all, and I want to save not only my marriage but my family.