Long and Bumpy Road #3

[JennyF]

Wow...this is one bitter person SO2! Even if there is something useful in there I can't see it for all the negativity.

I think this is case in point for getting your own life and not focusing on our WAS's. This advice is so specific and geared to her sitch only.

Me:I have a baby coming. I cannot think about you, your lies or the pathetic slut you are with. We deserve so much better. Your life and your priorities are so messed up. You seem to have no conscience or regrets for your choices. I have alot of decisions to make. Goodbye.

H: Its a no win situation with you and God only knows why you think and believe the way you do.

SO2...I though you weren't going to say anything?
I type things like this all the time in a "e-mails I won't send" folder.

Also, you took what happened last night and drew all of your own conclusions...by spying I might add. Perhaps he lied because he didn't want to share with you that he was with OW...sparing your feelings? In my sitch it is known there is OW, he is openly with her (UUUCK!). Anyway, H doesn't tell me when they have plans, I often find out thru other people. In some insane way he's being respectful by not telling where he is. (although I'm sure guilt and a very hidden concience might have something to do with it)
That's what your H might have meant by "no win". If had told you where he was...you've would have been just as mad.

Can I ask you a question? Do you want your H back? I mean this most respectfully, but I ask you this because you're doing the opposite of DB'ing for one, but also because it seems that you are actually looking for more reasons to be mad at him. I'm not saying you need to let him walk all over you, but sending a text like that is going to push him further and further away, ot obviously did by his response. Now you had to have known this before you sent it, so I'm just wondering if you are on the fence about wanting him back?

You said yourself that he wants both lives..."he wants his life 2 ways". Well you're in control of whether he gets to live one of those lives. If he doesn't want to live it the way you want, then stop looking for reasons to get more and more angry and GAL.

I know you're so sick of this...and so you should be. So stop focusing on it...because you can't do anything about it unfortunately. I know it sucks. Trust me I feel the same way.
But I've accepted that if I ever do want my H back to give our family a second chance (and I do...) then I have to let him go. Possibly for a long time. But he has to if he's going to get through this and come out a better person. The more I jam it down his throat that what he is doing is wrong...the longer the process is going to take.
I'm able to back off, because I'm trying to speed it up!

Anyway SO2, I'm sorry if I've been harsh with you today...I just don't want to see you beat yourself up.
J~