Yes, I did think some on Sara's suggestions -- I actually had a longer draft before this one, and thought it too long and maybe a little too heavy-handed. But Sara got me to thinking that if I don't risk really shaking things up with MIL and W, our road to D is going to happen regardless -- nothing ventured nothing gained.
So I have added the following:
... We are all imperfect and make mistakes; there is no sin in making honest mistakes, unless we fail to truly learn from them. You demonstrate a failure to understand and learn from your own mistakes, especially with regards to marriage. You show a glaring lack of understanding of, or an arrogant unwillingness to acknowledge, what a marriage is, beyond your own self-serving, jaded misconceptions. One would think you would have gained enough experience to figure that out by now. And yet you presume to have the wisdom to be able to judge other people and their relationships?
...
I have heard your words about marriage and about divorce. I have heard for myself your cynicism and contempt for matrimony, and how you try to justify divorce as a positive solution in any marriage. You are not friendly to marriage by any stretch, and are certainly no friend to my marriage to your daughter. I have allowed you into our household not once but twice now. And you have betrayed my good faith and undermined my authority in my own household. You have acted not only as W's spy, revealing to her details of my time with my sons in her absence, but you went further and bore false testimony. No, it was not enough to just report the facts to my wayward wife, but you had to make stuff up as well (and to take credit for things I did around the house).
Your character assassination of me is beyond the pale.
And more and more you've let your opinion be known how you feel about your daughter's marriage to me. In fact, I have my sources and I do know how you have been talking behind my back to the relations on W's side even before I knew what was going down back in June. You have salted the earth and poisoned the well for my ability to recover my relationship with our family long before I recognized your treachery.
I have also heard your condescending attitude about men in general, and husbands in particular. You want to believe that all men are alike and are out to hurt women, that they're stupid, helpless, and only good for being a woman's hand servant. You talk about "partnerships" in marriage, but that's not what you really expect. You've got some serious problems, lady, and it alarms me that my myopic, self-centered wife thinks you are competent enough for raising two small boys. I am seriously worried about what long term effects their being constantly exposed to your biases and prejudices is going to have on them.
Case in point: You have time and again gotten into petty little arguments with S7, a 7-year old little boy. You have frequently gotten your nose out of joint arguing with a child about silly, pointless stuff -- as if you yourself were but an immature, petulant little child. W herself complained bitterly about it at one time, but apparently has since turned a blind eye towards it, all because you now excuse and cheerlead her own peccadilloes. Well, I saw another example of this just the other day, yet again, and it's still happening, sad to say.
As for cheerleading your daughter's sins, I know you've blessed and encouraged her to leave me and even to take up with this other man. That's called adultery and you have blessed it. She's still married to me, for God's sake!
I know it must give you great satisfaction to have your formerly conscientious, God-fearing daughter turn astray and follow you down your same path of heartache and oblivion. Misery loves company? I guess you must think it vindicates you and the poor choices you've made in life that your daughter can be just as flawed as yourself, and that she can no longer hold that over your head. You just don't learn from your mistakes, do you? No, you embrace them, arrogantly display them, and blame every one else for what went wrong. Now you're coaching your daughter into the same hopelessly weak and unrepentant mindset.
You have covered for W when she's been painfully wayward, and then had the absolute gall to tell me -- when I rightfully got upset with your helping to cover her betrayal -- that I had "a bad attitude." That is priceless -- just how do you expect a spouse is supposed to take his partner's misbehavior and betrayal?!! Furthermore, how is any rational, moral being supposed to take someone who should be a loving and responsible mother condone and encourage their daughter's sins against her own family. You couldn't even manage to stay neutral, for crying out loud. ...
