Didn't see H Friday. S15 & H left before I got home. Spent evening alone crying/watching movies/trying a few yoga poses.
Sat. uneventful
Today, S15 & H will be back some time today. I've curled my hair, put on make up & got dressed (no sweatpants). Will cook dinner for my family and offer H to stay if he wishes. Will be nice to H but not overly nice. I won't try and pressure him. These is hard to do when the one you love wants to be with OW and not you.
H had told me the day of the bomb that there were issues and not the OW as to why he wanted D but wouldn't talk about them until "smoke had cleared". Which makes me think that he doesn't have any. It's hard for me to not know what his issues are with our M. How can anyting be salvaged if you don't know what H is unhappy about?
H wants a D. Refuses to just separate for a while. Says he's been unhappy for years.
It's hard to GAL when all you want to do is lay in the fetal position and cry your eyes out.
It's been almost 2 months and H is still stead fast on wanting D. However, H wants me to go to the attorney (again wanting ME to handle things). I will not go!
I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and quit the crying and GAL. It's hard to put yourself first when for 20 yrs. you've put H and S's first.
