I guess my Chris Rock quote got taken the wrong way. I am surprised that you ladies think I really use Chris Rock for my moral compass and my standards.
Olives question wasn't "is it ok to go out with a friend" it was "is it okay to go out on a platonic date" IMHO, that is two differant events.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Olives question wasn't "is it ok to go out with a friend" it was "is it okay to go out on a platonic date" IMHO, that is two differant events.
Yes, dating and going out with a friend are two totally different things. I think Olive is just looking for companionship and as long as the male doesn't expect anything, then I think she would enjoy herself.
mc - I actually don't know who Chris Rock is. I just don't think men are pigs any more than some women are. Personally it's all about your internal moral compass and Olives strikes me as just fine and dandy.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
How is a platonic date different than going out with a friend? In either case, nothing will happen. It's not up to what the guy wants, it's my responsibility to "behave", right?
How is a platonic date different than going out with a friend? In either case, nothing will happen. It's not up to what the guy wants, it's my responsibility to "behave", right?
I have come to have very different thoughts on this issue than I once did. The issue is the connection that you're having with this friend, platonic date (be it male or female) that you are substituting for having with your partner/spouse.
It's often in very small ways that an emotional attachment begins and where we find ourselves having our needs met outside of marriage. This is where the trouble begins, IMO.
Regards,
ntl
Me: 30 H: 32 Dating 10/96 Married 8/01 H PA's: Summer 97, 12/06, 5/07-10/23/07 My Saga
Considering the fact that your needs are not and will not be met inside of marriage, then if the need to have a nice conversation or spend a pleasant afternoon with an interesting person is being met by another, IMO, so be it.
For the record, I would not be asking this question if my H hadn't filed.
Oh, absolutely. I didn't mean for it to sound like was judging at all. I was answering the question in general, as if it were in the context of a marriage.
Lord knows I am in no position to pass judgement.
Regards,
ntl
Me: 30 H: 32 Dating 10/96 Married 8/01 H PA's: Summer 97, 12/06, 5/07-10/23/07 My Saga
I think it is LO's choice. I am not judging, but here's my opinion. LO is still married, and is married in the eyes of DD. As such, IMHO, I would not "date". Years down the road, the kids will know about dating, and it's not good value to pass on. Having said that, I feel it is perfectly OK to meet up with friends, male or female. There is a fine line between "friend meeting" and "dating". And I think if LO sees the male friend as "sexless" and just a friend to hang out with, there is nothing wrong with that. If the other party also knows that there is no expectation of any sort, it's OK. Now, if the other male party makes a move, then it's up to LO to make sure that he knows she is not dating, just friendship. Of course, there is a fine line. Many times that's how A started, from friendship to someone makes a move, to <you know what>. But I do think LO is strong and she knows what she is doing. In which case, nothing wrong with hanging out.
In my case, I went out mostly in groups. There are guys there who are obviously interested. But once I knew, I do make sure they know I am not interested in dating, just having fun with a group of people. I did not go out with a guy alone, but I feel that would have been OK too as long as I know and set the expectations. Guys are not that stupid and except for the stupid ones (I think we all know at least one of those, namely our H's), will not push if they know the woman is not interested at the moment.
LO, you are a strong women. Go have some fun and get away from all these craziness for a while. BTW, I think it is not good for your H to expose DD to OW now, since you two are still married. But again, that's his (stupid) choice.
