Hi PS, You have certainly taken proactive steps to combat the anxiety. At this point, all you can do is solidify the person you want to be ( which is a lot to do!), while H has to do his part. And he is getting there...it is slow, but it's in the right direction.
I am not surprised that you find yourself on a soul search. Being immersed in MLC, with our spouse's disconnection and loss of purpose, is very disconcerting. I've had to " up" my faith in a higher order so as not to get pulled down. Part of the reason I went to Israel was to connect with a history of faith and culture; visiting and witnessing so many believers, whether Jewish, Muslim or Christian, was really enriching for me.
