Makes absolute sense to me what your saying. Over the last 10-15 years I sort of wondered why I felt bogged down spiritually, regardless of what I was doing. Some times W seem to care about this in our lives, but sometimes did not. Right now W seems to be leery of anything of higher spiritual potential or exposure, but still wants kids to have those types of experiences that they should. To me that seems to say, knows that there is something amiss, knows what is right, but won't take the corrective actions. So what do I/we do?
Spiritual future hanging in the balance of other's decisions, ain't it great. What do we do while they figure this out? My biggest marvel right now is that when W and I first met, what drew us together was the fact that we could sit, talk and discuss anything, including R. Not too long after getting M, discussing R just became something W did not like to do. She felt all her/our issues seem to be based around her and it was something she would just have to deal with.
During our C sessions that we did go to, the C said that W was a bit of a control freak. I think we both like order and to solve the problem, but can't seem to figure out how we can get each other to "get with the program". However, I think W has a harder time letting go of the resentment of not being in control. Same as usual however, wants spouse to take control, but not really.
So how do you deal with the underlying problems in your M? Not sure. Like yourself I too am working on myself and letting W deal with her own issues. Perhaps I kind of see it this way. Sooner or later I think if W doesn't sort things out she will bug out, I will have to pick up the pieces with the kids and help them through the rest of their lives. I pray for the strength of Job, but I prefer to do this with out some of the afflictions.
I too apologize for the ramblings of this post, but I guess that's the way we get around here. My questions usually to myself is, "am I fixing this thing or am I just getting comfortably numb again?" I don't want D, I remember how things use to be better, but can I make my way back from here? Time and effort will tell.
