The New Adventures of Supermom...Part 3

[JennyF]

Actually Brit...his time with the kids is not obligitory at all.

He's always been a great father. See because his own father abandonded his kids (albeit they were adults), H MUST differentiate himself from his own Dad by saying he will NEVER abandon his kids. He even said to me once, "I was never mad at my Dad for what he did to my Mom (ie, have an A and secretly live another life with OW after 25 yrs of marriage), I was only mad at him for what he did to us kids". As long as he takes care of his kids he's better than his Dad. (which by the way is the trigger for this whole crisis of his...his Dad leaving the last time was like his death for H...only a death with no body...no mourning...no closure).
Anyway, clearly he doesn't see me as his 'family' right now and doesn't see how he has wronged me. He also doesn't see how treating the mother of his kids this way is unfair to them as well. He doesn't see how leaving his wife at 8 months pregnant with a 2 1/2 year old is NOT being a responsible father.

When he's around them is quite involved with them...in every aspect. With S he is actually frustrated that he can't do more.
He is pushing me so hard on custody right now and feels he's entitled to no less than 60/40...he wants 50/50 but thinks he's being a nice guy by not going for it.
I'm glad that he's not abandoning his kids, I just hate how he separates me from them.
It is better than nothing, and for my kids sake I am glad that he is there for them. I do however believe that while his intentions are genuine (he loves his kids and would do anything for them), I also believe he's being a bit of a martyr and is appeasing his own guilt.
As long as he does this, he's not entirely a bad guy. You even said it yourself...

(which, I realize isn't perfect, but it's better than nothing, I guess).

You're right...but as his wife, I think I deserve a little effort too.
Thanks Brit.
J~