Got the divorce papers today from the W. Need to go to the bank and get it notarized and give back to her to be sent off. That's just a bit depressing. Need to keep telling myself that it's just a piece of paper and it doesn't mean the end.
Parents coming in town this weekend and will be staying for 9 days. It's a bit stressing even when we were together. Just hopefully nothing unpleasant happens. I just want to make it as normal as possible and hopefully nothing stressful happens between the parents and the W. Plus the fact that W's grandmother is about to pass. So a lot of major stress coming down for everyone. Just trying to be as supportive as possible for W.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Just a thought...your kids are small. It may be easier on them then it would be if they were 10-12. I must say: you're wife is pretty difficult. Angry over a guys she just met? WHAT??? You can't change her. Don't even try. Worry about you. Easier said than done. I'm about to write another rant on my thread, so I'm not the best one to be giving advice! I'm really sorry for you! Are you "getting a life?" I volunteered to came to Iraq to get away!
Just a thought...your kids are small. It may be easier on them then it would be if they were 10-12. I must say: you're wife is pretty difficult. Angry over a guy she just met? WHAT??? You can't change her. Don't even try. Worry about you. Easier said than done. I'm about to write another rant on my thread, so I'm not the best one to be giving advice! I'm really sorry for you! Are you "getting a life?" I volunteered to came to Iraq to get away!
Yeah my D is oblivious. My S is somewhat confused. At times it's the excuse my W uses as well. They are small, they'll be just fine. So if they are older she would consider work things out? Grrrrr! Yeah I'm trying to GAL. Joined some social groups and etc for doing things on weekends. I just moved so still trying to settle down. Hopefully things will get into a routine in couple weeks. I've pretty much backed off from W and trying to worry about me and the kids. Ironically she has been more friendly and flirty lately. Maybe feeling no pressure from me, don't know.
It does annoy me a little bit that she's really pushing to get the D done. i.e. I said I'll get the papers notarized this weekend, and she said, you can go on Friday. Like one day is going to make a difference. Whatever....not going to fight her about it.... Still have to take this stupid parenting class. I heard it's pretty awful. Oh well.... This D will probably be done by Feb.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Ugh. Sorry! The parenting class sounds awful. I've heard about it. I'm not sure I can hold my sh"t together over stuff like that. Our wives want out...not us! It's so frustrating. By the way, get the papres notarized on YOUR schedule! You got it right: YOU and your kids, right now.
So first time kids sleeping at my place. S refuse to let W go. Took a while to get him finally consent to go to sleep. Afterwards W totally breaking down. I think now she may finally understand how I feel without the kids at night. House completely silent and empty. Told her that this is exactly what I don't want. The family broken apart and us having to share the kids instead of both having them.I just told her she has a lot of thinking to do. This is so unnecessary.... All this pain and suffering on us and the kids just because she can't face our issues and deal with them once for all?
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
W's grandmother passed away this morning. Just not a good time for her. Trying to be supportive and be there for her. Told her that I will take care of the airplane ticket. This is a 180 for me. Usually I would just give her the phone number and let her take care of it. I hate making calls and etc. I took charge and booked the ticket for her. On a side note, the airlines are a bunch of blood sucking vampires. The bereavement (sp?) rate is higher than the regular ticket price? It's like taking advantage of people that are down and not thinking straight. Anyhow, just want to say that getting out of one's comfort zone is hard but sometimes necessary to improve.
Took W to a German restaurant tonight that reminds her of her grandma's house. She said the smell brings back memories. It was nice that my parents are visiting and was able to watch the kids. Finally a dinner with no stress. The W and I had a good time. Sharing food, memories, and laughs. It was really nice. I even ordered for W. First time in like ever. She really liked that. I'm trying to work on the taking charge and be proactive.
W mentioned that she really needs to work on being comfortable with me supporting her and being there for her as she's never felt that way for like ever. Ouch! Long story short we are both pleasers and we usually end up arguing about stupid things since we both want to please the other person. I really feel it's not always that I've never been there for her, but she needs to learn to accept love and care from me as well and be ok to allow me to do things for her.
Hopefully these are little positives despite the incoming D....
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
First, found a DVD player in W's closet. Well, apparently she got it for OM for xmas before he rejected her. Wow, just wow. It was maybe $30 but it's the gesture that matters. Note that she didn't get any gifts for any of her other friends... She met him for coffee twice, haven't even started dating, and xmas present already? She said that if he hasn't rejected her they would've definitely be dating. Grrrrr..... Maybe it's a sign from God that the OM went away. Maybe he's giving me more time... W said that she has learned her lesson and won't be diving into things head first. I have told her that I want her to make a conscious and logical decision about our future since she has said that it would really bother her if I'm seeing someone. I said that I don't want to go down that route unless she leaves me with no choice. I won't sit around and wait for her to figure out if a new R would work or if she still wants us. She needs to think about the future and think long term and make a decision after considering everything and not just how she feels at this moment. At least she says that's what she will do and will not date until she makes that decision. I hope she sticks to her word. I told her to take her time and I won't take any actions until she decides. Now I'm just backing off and working on me. Her grandmother passed away this past Sunday. So far I think God has given me lots of opportunities to allow me to show her that I can be supportive of her, be there for her, and also show her I can take charge and get things done and be proactive....
On a different note, was looking through some of the cards and love letters from her to me in the early years. All I can say is wow she really thought I was special to her and I am an idiot for messing things up and took her for granted. Yeah she had some personal issues, but I was an idiot. I also came to a better understanding of why she has so much resentment. It must've been devastating for her to receive the type of behaviors I exhibited when she thought the world of me. I wrote her an apology letter and explained what additional things I realized. I hope that can take some of the anger away.... I just hope with some time she'll decide that we can still make things work.... I am a moron!
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
