Confusion of a WAW (Thread 5)

I'll say this is confusing! I remember my H at the beginning showing signs of wavering like this. The more I recognized it (and let him know I recognized it) the more he had to jam it down my throat that it was OVER. I wish I knew then what I know now!
I think that since she's letting you move in with her, she REALLY just wants to make sure that you don't think it means anything. No expectations of her. She's just protecting herself...probably from her own feelings.

Oh yes - She has made plenty of comments to make sure I know it's not permanent or anything. I don't think she has made a single positive comment about it at all - Not even related to D.

Curious thing with my W - She has made NO effort regarding legal separation or divorce. Doesn't talk about it, openly acknowledges that we have a joint checking account (she reminded me yesterday to take the $50 out of it that I put in the other day). Doesn't sound like someone who is moving on to me.

I agree with everything B said. In fact it would probably be a good idea for you to try not to be there as often as you can. That way she still feels like she has her space. I don't think you've dug yourself a hole, but your at the start of 'something' so you can totally choose how it goes at this point.

I suggested to her at lunch today that we continue to follow our current routine with D, so even though we might both be home on a Monday night, I don't have to worry about W going somewhere and having to watch D. She seemed to like that idea. Her big thing right now is her need for independence and a desire to 'not have to answer or check in with someone'. So, I figured that was a first step.

You're going to need tough skin for this Brit! Who would have thought you'd be crying on your way to move back IN with her. I feel for you and I hope that things go as smooth as they possibly can.

It's tough - We're not really moving back in together because we want to; and honestly, right now, I'd probably decide NOT to live with her based upon our interactions over the last few weeks. Not really in a position to do much about it at this point though. I guess part of me is resigned to the fact that I'm going to be living with 'this person' for a while, rather than my W.

Do your best to keep things on a friendly level. I would minimize the hugs & ILY's and anything like that unless initiated by her. And even then I'd proceed cautiously.

Yep - I backed WAY off with that stuff this week, then on Thursday she was totally different. Hugs, kisses, dragged me back in the house with D to play more. Last night (Friday), she couldn't get away quick enough after D went to bed.

So did you take the place that was 'perfect' or are you still looking?

Yeah - Waiting on background check stuff coming back. Should hear something by mid-week.

thanks Jenny!!