H had an affair, now wants me back,,,

[ntl]

1/12/08 Update

So, I just got back from a trip back east to see my family. H was with me there, too. In fact, he had market research to do so was at work most of the time. But I had plenty of time to see my family and to relax.

I had several moments of feeling intense fear and loss. I think it comes from feeling threatened all the time. Every time he's gone for more than a few hours, and I don't hear from him...I immediately think he must be cheating or doing something not healthy for our marriage. And I didn't used to be this girl! I was very independent and was fine without having constant reassurance. That's gone for now!

Unfortunately, I am now back home and H is on his way to Rome and Munich for the week to do more research. He's already prepped me by telling me he's going to have LONG days and that he's going to be holed up in a market research facility all day. I am so nervous for him to be gone, though. I hate it.

I've got lots of things planned for the next week and I hope to be busy, busy, busy. But still...in the dark of night...the monsters come out. And that's when it gets really hard.

On the plus side, I've got Divorce Remedy to reread (plus lots of other books I've been wanting to get in to), so I'll try to avoid those cheeseless tunnels as best I can! I'll certainly be practicing my thought-stopping techniques for sure.

Regards,

ntl