Today has been pretty rough - Started off on the wrong foot, since W got over to my house at 10am, rather than 'really early' like she said she would. Basically ended up delaying our moving activities until mid-afternoon, rather than being able to get things going quickly. I didn't get mad at her or say anything at all about it - Just let it go.
W is totally 'gone' - She's very depressed, doesn't really want to talk or to mess around, and she just seems very distant. She keeps reiterating that she wants me to stay with her, but that it'll be less stressful once I find somewhere else to live. It's pretty obvious that she doesn't want me there.
On the last trip I got pretty upset - A combination of not really having a home anymore, being away from D, and W being so closed off to me. I started crying in the car; W asked what the problem was, and I just said I was over tired and stressed. We didn't really talk a whole lot for the rest of the ride, or the ride home. We were going to go out for dinner, but W decided she'd rather go home instead (she was already planning on going out with a friend later tonight anyway). W was really nice to me, but she was very confusing - Said that she and I were never going to get back again together, but that she still cares about me and loves me. She also said that she wants nothing more than to be a family again, but that she can't do it anymore. I guess that fact that she loves me is still a good thing, but I'm not seeing much positive right now.
So I guess this whole thing is going to be a complete disaster. W obviously has checked WAY out. Hell, for most of today I didn't even recognize her at all. The stress of today seems to have pushed her further away.
I guess I could do with some suggestions as to what to do over the next couple of weeks. Obviously I need to get back on the DB bandwagon and show W that it would be fun to live with me again, but I think I just dug myself a pretty big hole to start out from.
