mike, I have to jump off boards for a bit. I will be back later. Had to take muscle relaxers and all I want is sleep. HA, story of my life. lol are you groaning as you read the word, "Sleep"? lol
grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
In Ohio if one party wants a D , there is a D. I have had my atty file a petition of conciliation. Stops D proceedings for a while, basically says I don't want D that I think we could overcome problems with C'ing.
Talked to S26 today, stopped by his work. Saw and talked to his boss today, we're friends we bowl in the same league for about three years. He said he told his mom he doesn't want us to D. All the kids don't want us to. He also said mom has changed, she isn't the same person she used to be. Tried to get him to explain the changes, he couldn't other than she's different. Again all the kids say this also. W thinks that since the kids are adult age, this will not effect them. Boy is she in La La Land!
If D goes through it will be hard economically, especially on me. Before she left she took care of the bills, she didn't pay on three of my credit cards, they are in collections now. I'll only have to pay her spousal support for a few years then I'll get my full paycheck back. I'll try to drag it out, hopefully she'll emerge from her MLC.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
W thinks that since the kids are adult age, this will not effect them. Boy is she in La La Land!
If D goes through it will be hard economically, especially on me. Before she left she took care of the bills, she didn't pay on three of my credit cards, they are in collections now. I'll only have to pay her spousal support for a few years then I'll get my full paycheck back. I'll try to drag it out, hopefully she'll emerge from her MLC.
Mike, it is very hard to understand just what goes through a S who in in MLC. I am even considering the full day couples with Michele. Quite expensive but then if it worked. Spoke with a staff member who sets up stuff for Michele. She suggested if my H was not interested in coming to say/ask following. Say to S I need to do this (one day with Michele) for closurer but I need you there to do this. Ask S to just give you this one day. Might consider doing that with your W. Maybe she would go along. Ever talk to her about Dr. Phil show or take her out for dinner? Maybe the one day couple's with Michele, that might be your best bet. I am in nYS, one of the most difficult states to get a D in. Of course also depends on Judge you get as well. My H walked on me and has moved in with OW, many judges as long as I do not agree to D will keep putting it off. NYS you can actually end up in a court trial or so I am told. Seldom takes place but yes you can end up with a trial. Have to go feed dogs and my face. Plus I promise Power Girl I would take her for a short walk. later, grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
That could be an idea, what's the cost of a one day? I'd try about anything. I think she is afraid I can't change or if I do I will go back to the guy who snoops, doesn't trust or distances himself emotionally.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
That could be an idea, what's the cost of a one day? I'd try about anything.
Cost is $5,000. per day. Cost sounds really high but when you figure out it is for a 6-7 hr day. I don't know if insurance will reimburse for any of it or not. Boulder Cold. is the location, heck make a long weekend of it. Contact Virginia at the phone number on website and she can fill you in.
If you could afford it I'd try it. grid, lost
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
That is steep. Couldn't swing that right now having been on the disabled list for three months. I'm going to see if W will go to Retrouvaille with me. It starts on a Friday ends Sunday afternoon with 6 follow up visits afterwards. There is one in town here every 3 months. Next one is in April. They ask for $150 for a deposit and a donation when you leave. They suggest $300 more to cover costs but won't turn you away if you are strapped.
I haven't been to Colorado in years. My best friend went out there to work, I flew out to help him drive back to Cincinnati, his W and baby flew back on my ticket.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
That is steep. Couldn't swing that right now having been on the disabled list for three months. I'm going to see if W will go to Retrouvaille with me. It starts on a Friday ends Sunday afternoon with 6 follow up visits afterwards.
Yes, mike I would again that is a lot of pocket change for one day. Or at least seems like a lot. Then you have to remember, Michele on many other professional committments makes about that much a day. Takes a lot of money to keep a business going, pay employees, etc. That said, Retrouaille, is another option and I have found others on the internet. Going to their web page and take a look. BTW, your thread, Wife has Filed, has locked. You have to start a new thread and please be sure I know where you go off to with your new threat. I just do not understand your W. Her comment to you about in Hospital (Wife has filed thread) sure is senseless!!!!! But remember MLCrs make no sense. With all pain meds I am on H doesn't see how my illness has anything to do with his feelings!!!! OMG give me a break. Your W if very confused ! W make any comment about the court date having to be pushed up? I did send H a bit on 4 stages of M. Have not ask or implied about Retrouvaille. Will be some time before can ask him that one. Your W and this job issue, there is a lot that is not even being said. Even a close friend has pointed out to her, has she ever considered maybe her choice of job might be causing her some of this unhappiness. IF you work at times so you never have contact with rest of world, well hello, why wouldn't you feel like you don't quite fit in!!! Will keep you posted on H and Retrouvaille, BTW have you received any info yet? Wanted to mention i am noticing with H if I just sorta drop a few seeds here and there about R or us. Then say nothing and expect no response from him. H seems to be coming around a bit. Might give W a few seeds for thought. good luck
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
I didn't know my thread locked, I must be an old timer now.
I planted the seed of Retrouvaille in her mind. there was a session this weekend but not enough time for W to arrange time off. Next one is in April. Don't know if I should request info and have it sent to D24's house or just copy some of the info and send that to her. Our biggest problem, I think is lack of communication, that's what they work with you on.
W waffles on if she likes her job or not, One day she hates it, the next loves it. Can't understand why she is willing to put up with hours that no one else is on. She will fall asleep at D24's house in the living room with every one else in the room, lots of yelling and screaming will not wake her. Told her when I talked to her last that I was worried about her and depression because she sleeps so much. She said she can stay awake if there's something to do. I told her it's not normal to sleep all the time when there is nothing to do. I found an article in a magazine, actually a question to Laskas in Readers Digest. A man wrote in his W sleeps all the time also. The answer was she could be suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome or depression, get her to a doctor. Next time I see her I'm going to show it to her, maybe she'll see it if it is in writing.
What kind of seeds for thought are you giving H? I hope I put some in W's head about Retro. And she's afraid we can get back on track but will revert back to where we are now. I told her she will never know if she doesn't give us a chance that I don't want to look back in three years and say if only.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
Found out that mt mom had a heart attack Thursday night, my brother called me 9PM Friday to let me know. While talking to him my aunt called me(moms sister). We are really close, she's more like an older sister to me. She's only 6 years older than me. She didn't know about mom's heart attack either. Cindy's had some bad health problems the last few years herself. She can't drive so I'll see about picking her up and taking her to the hospital with me.
Talked with her for 4 hours on the phone. She called and was in tears because she hadn't seen me since surgery and felt bad because she hadn't sent me a card. She told me W told her that we were Ding and that she was seeing someone. I told her his name and she confirmed it was a co-worker. W told her that I wouldn't fight for her. My aunt said she didn't want to see that side of me, she saw it once and said it really scared her, she thought I was going to kill the guy.
She said W complained that I wasn't assertive with W. Maybe I should try that approach. She told me that she has a few friends and customers(she owns a beauty salon) that think I'm hot. I go there for haircuts.
W hasn't been going anyplace on the days she is off, D24's BF is out of work and at their house all day, he says W doesn't go anywhere during the day. OM is a co-worker, don't know if she is chasing him. I think the times she wanted to quit her job they had a falling out. Don't know if W thinks if she is D'd that he will leave his W for her or if he promised to leave his W if she D'd me. Oh well it is what it is.
I'll pickup aunt and take her to hospital tomorrow, she can't drive any more because of her health problems.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
The answer was she could be suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome or depression, get her to a doctor. Next time I see her I'm going to show it to her, maybe she'll see it if it is in writing.
Your W should see a Dr. She has something wrong, could be something as simple as anemic or something much more serious. Maybe Ds can convince her to talk with her Dr.
Quote:
What kind of seeds for thought are you giving H? I hope I put some in W's head about Retro. And she's afraid we can get back on track but will revert back to where we are now. Mike
[/quote] Mike, I agree with you about Retro. being one of our best bets for each of us. What I do like about the program, the ability to make a life time committment with the program to check and make sure NEVER Again will problems go unaddressed or unnoticed. I have read every word in the website and ask for info. Emailed for info at one location and request for infor by regular mail to my house. Go back to the website and read about other couples experiences. All are short accounts but one talks about a couple in a very short amount of time were calling it quits. The couple holding seminar/retreat, worked with them and was able to convince them to return to group. Everything is private it is not a group confession atmosphere. I like that and am sure your W will to.
How have I been planting seeds....mmmm.. I am not talking , etc. about our relationship but rather trying to get H comfortable with thoughts of any relationship and problems that come about. I am trying to start to communicate with H indirectly about life and individual Rs. For example, I sent him a webpage found about St. Joseph, saint and May 1st is his day of feast, well never knew this and May 1st is our Aniversary day, sent H a funny article written for divorce attornies on how to deal with the current divorce client. Can't explain it on this short post, trust me it was just funny. Sent H Retro. webpage on the 4 stages of marriage, told H I never realized this and ask if in all his time & money he spent with C (about me, unknown to me) if these 4 stages came up? (I know they didn't, I should have taken ethics action against the C for what he did ) Talk/comment to H, without expecting any response about all the information I have been learning about Relationships not just M. How no one teaches us any R skills, no wonder we all find life so confusing!!! Rs are quite structured, with out the ability to "communicate well in R", things quickly become confusing, misunderstood, misinformed, etc. this is sorta stuff I have been expressing, sending , feeding, lol to H. For myself I call this type of topic/issue approach as coming in the "back door". Trying to get H to have R thoughts in his head with out it being connected to us or our M. Don't know if it is working or will backfire.???.. Oh, nearly forgot, I have also talked with H about OW, long term. OW is 20yrs younger than H, so if she wants kids she will have to be doing so soon. I even ask H not to hurt her by staying with her unless he is willing to have kids down the road with her. Even if at the moment OW says she does not want kids. I'm going to give H a birthday gift and shortly there after I might ask him to go to Retro. with me. To please come with me to Retro. so at least I can have closuer. Some how have the feeling my plan will not all work out quite like I hope.
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
