Srikes me that you have to heal yourself, which you know, and if she happens to be there at the finish of your journey then that's all well and good but if she isn't, then you know her true worth, and possibly you shouldn't be with her if she cannot stay the course. When you are at a low ebb the worry of her drags you even lower.She has to want you for wanting you - warts and all; not just for the good times.
Yes that's true, I DO worry about her because she's tried to leave me at least 2 times now, and this is the third. Always because she's unhappy because I'm unhappy.
So, I get unhappy, then I stay stuck, nobody is able to help me for whatever reason, I worry she'll leave and that makes it worse for me, and eventually we've ended up here.
I guess I'm very confused because I also read the 'self help' books she reads on spiritual 'growth' and they all put limits on how long you stay with someone who is spiritually stagnant. They all say that you need to find your own path in life in order to fulfill your lifes purpose.
That doesn't seem to fit with 'in sickness and in health' or 'commitment' to someone who is just not emotionally 'ok' like I have been.
I am having a hard time reconciling in my mind which is 'right' and which is 'wrong'. Is she 'wrong' to want to move forward with her life without me? As AmyC said, she has 'outgrown me'.
I know I'm at the turning point of my life and I need to grow beyond this pain I've been in because it is stopping ME from fulfilling my life purpose. I am just having a hard time 'blaming' her for not wanting me - warts and all.
