Wrote a response to MIL. I am pondering whether to send it.
I realize that you have been through quite a bit in the last weeks with regards to <uncle> and <aunt>, so I can let quite a bit of what you have said go. (I too have lost an uncle this past week.)
But seeing how this is also the same sentiments that I have been getting from W to one degree or another in the last year, I am sensing your own personal demons are to blame for much of the toxic environment that has plagued my family in the last year. I suggest you re-read and reconsider what you have written and really take an inward look.
I know my faults, my weaknesses. I know the mistakes I've made. I know what a marriage is and is not -- unfortunately only more-so now than six months ago.
And I know where you are coming from, all too well. I have been as patient and understanding of your troubles and foibles as any person can be. I have pitied the pain you've endured in your life, even when you have contributed to it. But no injury you suffer ever justifies your own trespasses against another. When you bring your prejudices and bitterness into my home and foment your self-fulfilling predictions for your own selfish reasons, that is where you cross the line. You demonstrate a failure to understand and learn from your own mistakes, especially with regards to marriage. You show a glaring lack of understanding of, or an arrogant unwillingness to acknowledge, what a marriage is, beyond your own self-serving, jaded misconceptions. One would think you would have gained enough experience to figure that out by now.
You have every right to say and think what you want in your own station, but you have no legal or moral right to do so in our household.
Bottom line: You have interfered with my marriage, my family and our chances at reconciliation.
Instead, I will turn this back around on you, and ask you to cease and desist from interfering with my family, my wife and my children. You have proven you cannot offer wise or even neutral counsel to anyone in my family, and that your own bitterness and unhappiness has both contributed to and enabled reckless and dangerous behaviors by my wife.
In your own words, "it is best to separate and save the children from the angry words, actions and hate." I suggest you recuse yourself for the peace of my children, my family.
