ebl, GAL and those things - they are about you, not him. Change the things YOU want to change. In the end, the changes may bring your H closer to you again, but if the changes are not ones that are important to you, you're not going to be able to keep it up.
Try to think less about him and more about you and your children. Even if you don't think he's paying attention, he'll notice.
Read posts of people who have been doing this for a while - perhaps you'll recognize some patterns and be able to get a better grasp on where you might be, remembering that every situation is different.
