For what it's worth, WAW's family has all "abandoned" her (her words). They all "love me" (her words again). Her aunt told her the first month she is having a mid life crisis, doh! Her brother has really given her a hard time, called her every applicable unpleasant name in the book (he's always been such a source of comfort and hope, not!) I've considered calling him to tell him to layoff, but I promised W I wouldn't talk to him and decided to honor my word and stay out of it.
In some ways I think their actions are counterproductive and have caused her to dig in her heels and be even more stubborn. How many people when attacked and told how wrong they are say, "You're right, I am being an unreasonble selfish jerk, throwing away everything and hurting those closest to me, damaging my children and not acting like my self. I'll stop right now"? Uh, none?
There is a silver lining to this cloud of her family's abandonment of her (her friends have also abandoned her and all she has are new "party" friends). I'm the only real family she has left. I'm the one she calls when something goes terribly wrong, she is stressed out, needs to vent to someone she knows will listen unconditionally, or needs help. One day she will wake up and see this. I have been considering NC to help her open her eyes. I'm really interested in this "dropping the rope" thing.
They know the damage they're doing. W took OM to family's Thanksgiving dinner. Kids were there, told me it was really "boring, no one even talked during dinner." W broke down and cried in front of me as we worked out Christmas shuffle (kids). Said she didn't want to hurt anyone, asked if I hated her. They are aware of what they are doing whether their family points it out or not.
Even though her family is against what she is doing, none of them who live in the same town have called me for support or any other reason, either. Her brother used to but I avoided him for above reasons and he has since stopped. They are friendly and always speak when we run into one another around town. I've gotten angry once or twice about them no offering support but decided they don't know what to say to me or are trying to stay out of it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it can be easy to feel abandoned, wish they were there for you. They're probably dealing with this as best they can, just like us.
Wimps (just kidding)
Last edited by sleeper; 01/12/0804:34 PM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
