Ingrid...I agree totally with your post...my H was also a computer type and it was ultimately what opened the door to first EA's and then the biggy...a PA and walking out on his family for nearly 2 years...
We have recovered...several times this past week he has made reference to our R/M being better then it ever has...being in love with me again...etc...but it was a long hard road...and for him it meant limiting time at the computer and no interacting with others via computer...strictly games and ebay for him these days...and I am sure he would be extremely angry reading some of the things I have shared here over the years...which is why he doesn't know about it...this place held me together at a time I was falling apart and didn't have anyone to understand...I also understand how easy it is to form attachments...and forget that in fact...you really know very little about this person...like when H declared his love for OW...I was shocked that he could be so stupid as to think it was REAL...she only let him know what she wanted him to know and vice versa...how can that be real LOVE???...well the answer is it wasn't...and that can be a very painful reality to someone who gets caught up in this...
Now back to Jeff...my cooking contact...lol
It would be nice if you could just talk to her like you do us...but as Ingrid stated there is not years of 'stuff' between any of us here and you...so it is easy to be agreeable and want to be nice and helpful...the fact is, you might try and discuss it with her but I wouldn't expect an epiphany on her part...because the reality is many of us here that totally caught off guard when our spouses left...well, if we look back we really shouldn't be so suprised...we pretty much didn't face what we should have for what ever reason...
Many of our spouses told us they tried to talk to us...they tried to tell us...all that before they walked out the door and woke us up...
Now the real truth is...you don't walk out the door to wake someone up...but if you are "prepared to live with all consequences of your actions without regret"...and witout regret is key...then you can walk...you don't have to slam the door shut...you can be reachable...and maybe work things out...the other side is the LBS may not really care...or may be relieved...and that is where you can't regret your decision...does that make sense?
Okay...I have gifted enough for now...and you know I wish you all the best...and now I am so craving the NY cheesecake with chocolate and raspberry sauce just like they serve at Outback Steakhouse!!!!
