NikB #24

[NikB]

Thanks H, Blindsided, and jak! Good to hear from you.

Reverse order with journaling/replies this time..

Re: my grandma, it's weird, I talked to my dad tonight and he seems, I dunno, way too "not" upset?? I told him honestly I'm more worried about him than grandma since I am not that close to her. He said he feels like he lost her years ago when his dad died.. so he said he feels kinda heartless but it's not that hard for him, either. It's just strange.. I feel like we're both crazy for NOT being more upset.. but maybe crazy is normal eh? For now, anyway.

In H related news.. I'm still invited for the racecar pickup tomorrow, so that will be fun! I also decided to take a little emotional risk tonight and ask him for family advice. My dad hadn't even thought to tell my bro about grandma.. ?!?!?!. I told him I thought it was important to give bro a chance to see her (it's been 12 years or so, like it was for me til I saw her in November). We argued for almost 20 minutes.. Dad didn't want to "upset" my bro, I said that waiting until it was too late due to concerns bro's mood might not be "right" was a horrible mistake. I got myself convinced maybe I was way off base - asked H "Can I ask your opinion on something?" and told him the background. He not only agreed with my feelings but stated even MORE strongly and encouraged me to call my bro - I told him thanks for the perspective. I usually just vent, so I think it was good I asked for his opinion. (and valued it... which I always do, but I tried to make it more clear that I do).

The preacher came out to see Grandma today so we'll see.. doesn't sound too good... but I'm still hoping that at least she can spend some good time with everyone who wants to spend time w/her.

OK on to replies...

H
Thanks! Glad everyone is OK (or improving anyway) at your house.

Yeah, I honestly don't understand how that whole truck thing works, but I'm sure someone more mechanically inclined could! It involves a truck, wiring, an inverter, and an extension cord. That's the extent of what I understand.

blindsided
Aw thank you!! I feel bad I haven't been there for you as much, but I am always thinking of you. I know you don't see it yet but you sound SOOO much better.

jak
Thank you! It's a strange situation with my grandma, in a lot of ways I think the prayers should be more for her to go peacefully rather than "make it through this" - it's a weird thing to "hope" for someone to pass away though, you know? Actually lately I'm sure you know EXACTLY what I mean, but it's a weird feeling. Appreciate the prayers, thank you.

Sounds like an awesome baby step (maybe even toddler sized?) with your H, glad to hear it!!