I haven't talked to him since Wednesday when I needed to find out if he was spending time with d6 on Thursday. The time before that was Monday when I left a message to find out if he was spending time with d6 on Tuesday. He hasn't been able to spend any time with her this week (he had her last weekend) and he hasn't called to speak to her at all this week. The last time he spoke with her was Sunday lunch when he dropped her off.
I downloaded divorce application forms yesterday and they are sitting in my bag.
I was torn between contacting him about a few things but ended up sitting and talking to myself to work out which things I REALLY need to let him know and which things are just me disguising a way to needle him.
As it turned out, finances are tight this month (aren't they always just after Christmas?). I need to pay out more for d6's vacation care (remember in Oz it's summer holidays) and I just don't have the cash. I could put it on credit if I have to but I thought "no, bugger it. She's his daughter too. I haven't had to ask him for money for months (though he has given me a few hundred dollars here and there - probably monthly I guess). Why should I sit here and stress myself out if I haven't even asked him if he will help>"
So I steeled myself and called him.
H: Hello M: Hi H: oh hi. M: I need to ask you if you will pay for half of d's vacation care H: I can't hear you M:I need to ask you if you will pay for half of d's vacation care H: Why? M: Because she's your daughter and well, I...pause H: and what? M: [pause] Well...I could do with the money. H: Well why don't you say that instead of pulling the guilt trip M: Look, if I didn't need it I wouldn't ask. H: When do you need it. M: Well I need to pay by Monday. If you can't help out I'll have to use credit. H: I'll see what I can do M: Is that a yes or a no? H: I said, I'll see what I can do. M: OK H: Bye M: Bye
I think that's about right (for my recall of the convo).
I kept the conversation to one topic and one only. Yay! I hate asking him for money. I earn way more than he does so realistically I shouldn't need his financial help but on the other hand, I don't see why I should have to stress about things for d6.
I don't know if he's avoiding calling the house becuase he's angry at me for telling him I want a divorce. I wonder if he is thinking about it and I wonder if he needs a reminder that I mean it (in the past I haven't always followed through on things I've said). Would it be bad form to tell him that I've downloaded the forms or should I just file and let him find out when he gets served that I am serious?
