update for everyone;
hope you all had holidays full of hope and support! things have been going very well for my family, H and i are ticking along nicely with few hiccups lately.

i do have big news; i'm pregnant. this was a suprise for H and I, and when i found out, was farther along than i guessed. i'm actually in my 4th month now.

at first i was in denial; it's all been a bit much: M on the mend, new job, H in grad school, myself just starting a new job. i have learned through this process, however, that you truly are never given more than you can handle and that situations and circumstances are handed to you for a reason. i am looking at life right now as a total blessing. many times over the holidays i became very emotional thinking of how i spent last christmas; sobbing, pleading with my husband to take me back. watching him drive away to go be with OW. and the christmas before, separated, not being able to look each other in the eye. and all of the miserable times in between. what a miserable chainof events.

i know people are thinking that a baby is going to complicate things for us and no doubt it will not make things easier, but i've learned to take things one day at a time. my true hope and prayer is that my M will continue to move with the positive momentum of late, however, i am realistic in knowing that i can only control myself and the choices i make (OF, can you hear how far i've come \:\) no matter what happens, i'll be just fine.

for those of you that are hurting tonight, my thoughts are with you. know that your pain is felt here on these boards by hundreds of other people. it WILL get better. i can't promise what "better" will consist of, but i promise it will get better.

peace and serenity,
kiki