Question about MLC and MLC'ers desire to help

[mymonkeybug]

Thanks for the advice. I am trying so hard not to ask questions. It is very hard since we had always been open and communcated well before. It really is as if one morning he woke up and someone else was living in his head, SATAN maybe, telling him how to act and what to say. He completely changed almost overnight. He insists the OW is just a friend but refuses to give me her name so I of course accused him of protecting her and that of course meant she wasn't just a friend and yes he was rather angry about that and told me I will believe what I want to believe. I even suggested that had he taken at least half the amount of time he was texting with her and used it to communicate with me instead we wouldn't be here right now and his reply was, "but maybe we would be!!!"

I suggested to him that he was experiencing a MLC and seemed very depressed and his remark was that he was fine and that he didn't need some shrink to give him happy pills so he would come home.

His family which as you can imagine after being together 19 years is close with me and his own brother and sister can't believe what he has done. His parents on the other hand haven't spoken with me and that hurts because all I can think of is that they assume I am some horrible *itch that ruined their son. Yes, I am just assuming but my sil did say that she and the parents are really trying to just stay neutral since this is our business and they don't want to appear to anyone to be taking sides. It feels like the whole world has crapped on me and thrown me to the curb.

I am seeing a therapist now and so far so good. She agrees that after hearing all about our relationship and marriage that while we have had problems as any married couple do with financial choices that have been poor and the like that we still have hope to work through this.

When I ask him about getting together to work on the parenting agreement or ask him if he wants to start legal seperation he dodges the subjects which I read as him not really being ready to end things as he swears he is. I gave him the option to file for divorce on grounds of adultery and be granted an instant divorce in our state and he dodged that too. He wants out but then acts like he doesn't. He is so lost and confused and hurting. I wish I could just pull him close and tell him we will make it all OK if he comes home but given how he has been acting that wouls not be wise.

Patience is something I am learning everyday to develop.