No doubt her finding out about your "snooping" pushed her away. I don't think it was considered confrontation, though. Mlcers are allergic to anything that looks like control over them. W probably saw that as you trying to control her to some degree even if it was just the control of knowing what she was doing. They hate that.
Also, when the bomb drops and they move out, it is natural to believe that will be the low point and it will get better from there. That is not the case. Don't feel bad that your relationship with your W is worse now than when you seperated.
Think of it like someone becoming ill. When they leave the house to go to the hospital they're pretty ill and its pretty bad, but once they are in the hospital they often get sicker before they get better and later come home. When your W left she was sick, but she has gotten worse (reduction in contact w/you). She may get sicker before she gets better.
I now understand why people told me "it's gonna get worse" when we first seperated. At the time I couldn't see how it was possible for "it" to get worse, but it has. W went from I want a divorce before seperation, to I just want to seperate during seperation back to I want a divorce and now I think she's not sure as she has pursued no further action since she filed in August.(one court date passed, no additional one set)
I also now undertand why people told me to determine what outcome I wanted and go for it no matter what happened. If you take your cues from your W, you are doomed to failure from the beginning.
Last edited by sleeper; 01/12/0802:14 AM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
