Living together as semi-polite strangers

[MrsLBW]

Mishka,
I have been keeping up with what you have been going through and of all the other threads I have read, yours is the most similar to mine. My H is not living with the OW but he spends a lot of time with her. My H has made comments recently about "possibly" getting back together and that he thinks now that he "might" go to counseling and "maybe" we can work on it. But he has done NOTHING to move in that direction. I told him that the only sign I would even care about is that he is getting another job-one away from her!! I will not wait YEARS for him to come to his senses!

But what I notice most about your situation is what you have been saying about how you feel about all of this.. When your H moved in and you described how uncomfortable it is with him there, I could understand! My H hasn't moved back, but I feel that every time he is here to pick up or visit the kids. I can't wait for him to leave!! I have come to the conclusion that I don't need or I don't think even WANT him anymore. He told me when he moved out in September that we would all get used to this-being separated and THIS he was right about!! The stress and pessimism is gone in the house. He is the biggest pessimist I have ever met and has always been that way and it has been a struggle all of these years to keep things on an even kiel (sp?)-just as you said-you had to keep things balanced with your H. Isn't it nice to not have to do that anymore? Maybe they did us a favor. Let these other women deal with their ups and downs. We know it will blow up in their faces eventually, don't we? And I, for one, will not be there to pick up the pieces. Not after what he has done to me and everyone around us.

I wish you well in your sitch. I will keep lurking to check up on you.. I have stopped my own thread for now. I am not DBing for my M but find a lot of useful info while lurking on this and other threads-things that I can learn to help in other relationships in my life and in future relationships.

Good luck---and I UNDERSTAND!!
Gin