Hi, I am curious if anyone has advice about how often I should be in contact with my H. He moved into his own apartment a week ago, and kept on saying that he will still like to see and talk to me. When I got the bomb dropped on me November 12th, he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married anymore and he had been unhappy for awhile. He said that he could not pinpoint why he fell out of love, it was not me, it was him. He is a very nice guy and always wanted to spare my feelings, but in the same sentence would tell me that he didn't ever miss me when I was away. He said that he always had fun when we did things together, but he really didn't need to spend time with me. We have been together 12 years, and prior to all this, he was an amazing husband with loads of affection and love.
Since he has moved out, he has called or e-mailed each day and wanted to "check in" and we had dinner this last Wednesday. When I met him for dinner, I didn't bring up the relationship at all and we had a nice time laughing and talking. I took on the approach of being his friend in hopes of us relaxing around each other. I know that he has a lot of self esteem issues beyond the marriage and he is in therapy to uncover what is going on, but he says he needed to get away b/c he had to concentrate on himself.
What I am conflicted about, is do I take his call or call him back everytime he calls me? I have tried both ways (not calling him back and calling him back) and I don't see that much change. I debate between not being so available to him, versus him still trying to be connected during this time apart when he has issues beyond the marriage. He called today and he wished me a nice weekend and mentioned making plans to see each other again. I haven't called him back yet and thought I would wait a day. Is that right thing to do????
