DBing definitely does work- there are lots of success stories on the site- in newcomers, and in MLC aswell. And I personally have been having some success with moving away from/not contacting my H, but it has taken time.
My advice on what to say when he contacts you to collect his things would be to be as friendly as you can. Don't get upset, cry, ask him questions about the potential OW. No ILYs. Don't tell him you miss him. From what he has said, you getting upset has made him wary of making contact. So instead, be fun and happy- and make the interaction as positive as you can. Reconciliation starts with being friends, so work towards that to begin with.
At this point, it sounds like you don't know for sure whether there is an OW involved. The main thing to remember there is that you can't change your H's behaviour- only your own. So concentrate on making yourself strong, and doing things to make you happy.
Definitely read DR- Michele puts things in a much better way than I do! But don't lose hope while you're waiting for your copy- in many success stories, positive steps start with giving the spouse what they asked for- space and time, and from detaching and making yourself happy.
This is hard, but you sound like a strong and centered person. You will get through this.
OD
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
