Quoting MPT:
In fact, if what is causing me stress is in full force(Ha! Like that is a singular thing ), taking the time for sex has the possibility of even increasing the stress.

You got that one right MPT. It definitely is that way for H. H's way of relaxing is for me to give him reflexology. Then he falls asleep!

Sooner,
My argument ended pretty quickly, as usual, with me saying sorry I brought up the subject and H saying he doesn't understand why I can't just be happy with what we have and complain about what we don't. He can't understand why this is of such importance as to mar our happiness in other areas.

What I need to hear from him is that we have a problem, if he thinks its temporary, then I would wait patiently and after a while if things don't change, then we could work on it together. All I hear is stop complaining because we don't have a problem, be happy with 90% and don't let 10% ruin the 90%. Thats like asking me to accept that things will always be this way. Sounds like no changes are forthcoming. I don't know how to deal with that. I can deal with it if he tells me he is so stressed up he just doesn't feel like it for now but I can't deal with it when I think that things will stay this way permanently Thats the hard part because I think that as a couple we should try to fix whats bothering the other. I don't know how to fix this problem alone and I don't know how things are ever going to get better if I'm not allowed to even talk about it. Ok enough ranting, time to go. Have a nice day you all.
LH