Quote: I have a question for both of you based on something that Lis said. Let say I stop initiating anything physical and explain to my wife why I'm doing so. If the opportunity to take a trip somewhere together (long weekend, etc.) should come up, would it be okay to say "let's go on this trip with the understanding that we will not do anything romantic - no cuddling, kissing, sex, etc. - let's just have fun with each other with no romantic expectations"? I think that would help me a lot, because if I went on a trip knowing that nothing would happen, I wouldn't get upset halfway through when it didn't. Let me know what you think.
If you're asking how would your wife respond, I don't know. I can tell you how I think I would've responded, but also think Lis would probably respond differently from me .The only way you'll know how such a statement will affect your own situation is to try it out. If you feel saying it will help you deal better with the situation, then that's a goal in and of itself.
Congrats on coming to a meta-decision about where you're going to let this problem take you. I hope it makes it easier for you to decide what actions or non-actions you will take. (Ick, that sounds so clinical!) You know what I mean, I hope. I had to come to a similar decision about some things I thought I needed from my H.
.The only way you'll know how such a statement will affect your own situation is to try it out. If you feel saying it will help you deal better with the situation, then that's a goal in and of itself.
