Well! What a Thursday that was! I think I almost have things cleaned up around here, though there were a lot of chocolate stains.
Real life was much more mundane yesterday. W had some complaints about some of my parenting, I think she was right, and I tried to agree. I hope I succeeded. She's so used to hearing a defensive me, and I am so used to being one, that it is hard to tell! Then we had a disagreement on what was really needed for one of the science fair projects. I actually thought we needed more, where she thought less, which was kind of unusual. Then she stated what S13 had said was the goal for the project, and I backed down. I still think the stuff I wanted to include was useful, but I could agree enough to let it drop. Then I succeeded in helping make some nice charts that really showed his data well, so that was good. She had a twelve hour shift yesterday, and again today, so she went to bed early. As is becoming her habit, there was no real indication when, and no goodnight, at least to me. To that I am getting pretty good at thinking "whatever", though obviously I am still bothered, or you wouldn't be reading about it!
So, where am I going? I stil don't know. I still don't know that I can believe that things will ever be right. I guess the question I am asking myself now is, when is it time to tell her that she has to make a decision? And am I prepared for her answer? I think I am getting close to being prepared for the answer, which may tell me when it is time.
So, the bar is not fully restocked, so you might need to bring a bit extra with you when you come by. Somehow, there are always enough hugs, so there's no need to worry about that!
I guess the question I am asking myself now is, when is it time to tell her that she has to make a decision?
This is a controlling statement. You can't make her make a decision. The only decision you can make is your own, so try to focus on when you're going to make your decision about what you want.
There is no pressure out there for you to make a decision about what you want to do...you have the luxury of time on your side. W obviously isn't making any moves to decide...so take your time and really consider things before you jump in! Make sure you are ready to accept the consequences of your actions!
I'll bring some Baileys...will there be cheesecake?
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
BA- If there's Baileys on the cards, I'll bring some cheesecake!
Jeff- I'm with BA and new- the question is what do you want to do? And it seems like you can take your time to do that for yourself. Good job on the validating what she had to say, by the way. And on the charts- being a science type, I love a good chart!!
There will be cheescake! Probably more than one. I think maybe a strawberry, a fudge swirl, and maybe a classic NY style with some chocolate sauce and raspberry sauce.
new_...You are right, that's a controlling statement. I though about that for a while after I read your post. And the thing is, right now, in my situation, I think that if anything is going to happen it is going to be because I force it to. I truly think W would live like this indefinitely. So, I don't really see anything changing until I make some kind of if..then..else statement (ow! I just went total geek!) or just tell her to leave. So, maybe I will have to be controlling. If you have any other ideas I would love to hear them, seriously! I throw enough of mine around, I can listen to someone else's! The one thing I can do now is take W2S's suggestion from my previous thread, and live as though she was already gone. Which, unfortuanately, might not be that hard to imagine!
BA- If there's Baileys on the cards, I'll bring some cheesecake!
Jeff- I'm with BA and new- the question is what do you want to do? And it seems like you can take your time to do that for yourself. Good job on the validating what she had to say, by the way. And on the charts- being a science type, I love a good chart!!
L.xx
Don't tell me you are also a science type! I really didn't need to know that! Maybe a drysuit would be better than a wetsuit, ya think?
If you bring the cheesecake, I'll make something else. Hmmmm, maybe creme brulee?
Can I ask you guys a favor? I have a feeling I am going to get an urge to force the issue soon, but I think it might be too soon. Though I can't come up with any rational reason why ot is too soon. A year or two ago. So, when I start sounding like that, try to see if I really mean it, ok? I don't like living this way, and I'm getting tired of it.
I think I may plan an MLC! Anybody want to come along? We'll have no worries, no responsibilities, just fun, fun, fun! Maybe a sailboat, or a villa on the Mediterranean? What do you think?
