Yup, the taking rejection thing is a struggle! For so many years I battled in my sitch by trying to understand where W was coming from. A way to handle the hurt was to say "Oh, she's under a lot of stress...." I would always try and see her side of things and it would drive friends batty, "How can you still defend her?" I'd say I wasn't defending just trying to understand. Well, now I don't want to sit around "understanding" behaviour of others that I find hurtful BUT I also must re-establish where the line is and I'm probably not real good at that right now. It is one thing to understand how someone could make a choice but it is another to agree that the choice was acceptable. For e.g., I understand how CB could be uncomfortable with our friendship as it was but that does not make the way she is going about dealing with it acceptable. It is hurtful to just dismiss someone from your life without discussion or thought to their feelings. Is it acceptable for a church group to invite me and then have noone show up within half an hour of the starting time to welcome me? It sure seemed insenstitive. Is it understandable that a Pastor does not respond when I share a major life event? Should I reconsider my involvement in such a chuch? Should I even bother to be friendly in any way with Coffee Buddy when those rare opportunities for interaction occur or should I just avoid her? These are questions that come up for me when I feel "rejected". I'm trying to find a line which I haven't done for a long time. Wow, what you have to deal with that arises from this separation stuff!
