Starting to get it.... my 3rd thread

[ann25]

Ann, Try something different and solution oriented and see what happens:
(1) Try the exercise on the marriage builders website for domestic chores; what have you got to loose?
(2) Do not ever criticize or nag him; instead truly appreciate every little thing he does that pleases you (just for 1 day to start with; it won't kill you)
(3) Ask for what you want with "I-messages" not "You-messages" and see if this makes a difference; try it just for 1 day and choose a good time to ask. ("I prefer ...", "I feel hurt when ...", etc. instead of "You should ...", "You are critical ...")

1) i brought that up the same night.... didn't go well. He doesn't actually want to do anything. He didn't want to do it, seemed like a waste of time, he wasn't feeling well... lots of excuses. Honestly, i don't think he wanted to look at it and see that i do everything on the list and he doesn't.
2)It may sound like it here, but I don't nag or criticize him. If anything i should ask more of him. When i ask him for something, i try to make it simple and clear. I don't harp on things. If it doesn't get done, i just do it. it's not worth the battle. I thank him for even the silliest things. I work my butt off and don't even hear thank you, but he takes out the trash and I'm praising him. It seems over the top in comparison, but i do it cause i know he needs to hear it. I practically threw a party the night i came home and the house had been all picked up. I think he gets into a mindset that he did it once, now he doesn't have to for a while. Like it will hold me over.
3)I'll try to pay more attention to this. I know i'm pretty good about it when i go into a conversation, but when he comes at me out of the blue, i struggle sometimes. Thanks.