I haven't been on the board in ages, but just popped on today to look around.
I won't say much other than what other's have - and to offer my support and prayers. I'll tell you however, you're right on (as with others) that one of the key tenets of DB'g is getting inside your OWN head - and fixing that which ails us. All to often the exhausting work of trying to fix the relationship, or the other person, takes center stage and the changes in us, superficial. A rough lesson that from time to time bubbles up in my R. And really by this it is me being more critical that my W.
As I was reading one of your more recent posts, it made me think of how my W and I were starting to settle into an (un)comfortable routine. I called it "un" there on purpose. For me, the thought of too much comfort was my call to action. I had a real fear her mind and eyes would wander. Added to this stress, I lost my job back in the beginning of October. I'm back on my feet and have been working for a little over a month, so good news - but it could have consumed me. Instead, I hunkered down, and set a plan for myself to get back in check. For me. I wasn't home all day during my unemployment(although I was home a lot) and we were able to get a lot of house improvements done while I was out of work. But I balanced that by hitting the pavement and networking and meeting people. I joined the Fire Department (as a part time job) and am training to get off "Probation", etc. This she is not crazy about, due to the danger, but all that melts away when I put on a "wife beater tee" and FF pants! Point being, I'm clear of what I am doing for me.
I don't tell you this to sound my own horn, but to perhaps give you the hope that you can do what you need to do. Try and focus a little on Frank - let that be the liberator...and I suspect you will find what you are looking for.
Oh, loved the Daeida quote from Theoden. We have trained him well my friend.
Strength, Honor, and Integrity.
Hang in there, we're all pulling for YOU.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
