Your input helps a lot. I've tried to get my wife to open up to me about what's going on in her mind, but what I usually get is "I don't know" or a complete refusal to even answer my questions. I understand from reading your posts and those of other LD spouses that she probably really doesn't know the answers to some of the things I've asked her - but I feel like in some cases she does know, or at the very least could help me to understand how various things that I do affect her. So short of her actually opening up to me, I believe that former LD spouses like you or MPT or jen381, who have walked in my wife's shoes, are most capable of helping me to see the situation from her side.
Yesterday I printed out your "I am your wife" post and asked her to read it. When she saw it laying on the counter I heard her "huff". But she did read it (eventually) and when I asked her this morning if she could identify she said yes. It seems to me that if I were in her shoes and wanted my desire to come back again, reading your post would give me some hope. But I don't really know if she wants her desire to come back again - you probably know that better than I do. I asked her 3 months ago to read SSM and she said she would, but never touched it. I asked her again a couple of days ago and she said she would, but I don't know if she will this time either. Can you give me any tips as to how I can get her to read it? I've tried the "let's work on this problem together" approach, but she still feels like I'm attacking her and she hates me for it. Any advice you can give me concerning ways to make progress will be greatly appreciated. My previous posts provide a pretty detailed description of my situation, although there's a lot to wade through (or though which to wade if you prefer). Reminds me of my favorite Winston Churchill quote concerning ending a sentence in a preposition: "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put". Couldn't resist throwing that in.
