If I can figure out how to do this, here is the link to my first thread. I'll warn you, it's pretty long. Maybe just reading my initial post will help.
I've actually approached my wife numerous times trying to explain to her how our sex-starved marriage is killing me inside. I honestly thought that was the best way to handle it - that's what I'd want her to do if the situation were reversed. But she actually thinks that by bringing up the subject I'm trying to run HER off. She seems to think that if neither of us ever talk about our problems they'll just go away. I don't believe that, and I'm doing everything I can to save my marriage before I get to the point of no longer caring. She thinks I'm a complete jerk for doing so, and a complete fool for participating in this messageboard. If she only understood that the little bit of hope that I get from this messageboard may have kept me from having an affair, or at the very least having a one-night stand, maybe she would appeciate the efforts I'm making just a little.
Although I've told her how I feel a thousand times, I don't think she's ever really tried to understand. She seems to be too busy thinking of how to fight with me about it. That's why I'm trying to convince her to read SSM - maybe that will help her to finally understand what I'm going through. I've even tried writing her letters - long, detailed letters that she couldn't possibly view as an attack on her. But that doesn't work either - she's just mad that I'm "forcing" her to read something - or "cramming it down her throat" as she puts it. She tells me that my methods of trying to solve our problems are all wrong, yet she can't tell me any better way to go about it. I'm at a total loss for something that might work.
I do appreciate your input relative to my earlier questions. I'm hoping for more input so that I can make an educated decision as to whether those things might do some good or just make the situation worse. Just out of curiosity, if you had absolutely no desire to be intimate with your husband, why did it bother you to think that he didn't want you anymore? I'd think that would be a relief. My wife seems outright mad that I want her - like I'm some sort of a sicko! And I'm not just talking sex - I'm talking about even innocent cuddling. I'm somewhat afraid that if I stop every hint of touching her, telling her that I love her, etc. she'll finally have exactly the relationship that she wants and I'll just become more miserable. Your input has been great so far - anything you can tell me to help me understand her viewpoint would be greatly appreciated.
