LRT UNDER SAME ROOF III

[I_Wanna_Make_It_Work]

Wow Craig - you got to where you are a bit quicker then I did ... but undoubtedly, you are on the right course. Keep at it, man.

[craig54]

phil, i'm not there yet. work in progress. still need to detach better, part of me is waiting for my wife to go forward with the divorce and moving out. real test would be how i react to that. right now things are very normal!!. anger is gone though, big part of my problem in the recent past.

[craig54]

phil, just to add. alot of prayer, alot of reading and alot of self reflection. i can't take the credit though. it is all the Lord.still have a long road to walk.

[Wooglint]

Craig,

I'm impressed. You seem like a different person lately. That anger and resentment you had isn't present in your post lately. Nice work.

[craig54]

woog,

thank you, how are you doing. your sitch seemed to be pretty calm last i read. keep db'ing. take care of yourself. patience. hardest thing to learn. my sitch, i am doing much better, wife has calmed down, but basic situation remains the same. which is good. no moving out no filing papers. just living under same roof like you. getting easier to live together without affection. even though i miss it alot. remind myself this is a marathon not a sprint.

[Wooglint]

You know I honestly can't tell what's going on in my sitch. We are distancing from each other, but she seems to be happier and is laughing again. I'm trying not to read anything into it. I'm just giving her space.

[craig54]

good job, that is exactly what she needs. how are the kids?how are you doing? taking care of yourself? i hope so.

[Wooglint]

Craig,

Thanks for the concern. Yeah, I am taking care of myself. Kids seem to be okay. I think they are a bit confused. My D asked me why W and I don't kiss anymore. I told her its because we keep getting colds.

[craig54]

woog, that is tough. my kids are older so they know what is going on. does not make it any easier though. day by day. very calm around my house the last month. very interesting.

[COG]

Woog,

Just one unsolicited bit of advice, FWIW. No better time than the present to be honest with your kids.

I told her its because we keep getting colds.

And when she asks where babies come from, do you tell her that a stork delivers them?

Kid's are MUCH smarter, more intuned than we give them credit for. She KNOWS what's going on, she's just looking for confirmation. If you continue to deny, cover up, etc. she may become confused, unsure of herself and MORE worried. It may be time to let the cat out of the bag.

It's okay to come clean with your kids. Let them know that Mom and Dad are struggling right now but you're both working hard to make things right. Tell them it's not their fault, there's nothing much they can do to help, but they can sure pray for God to help. And reassure them that the both of you will ALWAYS be there for them no matter what.(and you both better keep that promise). Alot of fear and anxiety that kids feel is from worrying that one or both of you will leave THEM!

This is a good time to pray with your kid's. Teach them how to pray, empower them, etc. We were pretty honest with our kids, and I actually think it helped keep our M together. They asked the tough questions of BOTH of us, and in the end, they were the mortar that ultimately held us both together.

Honesty, not necessarily details, is a very cleansing action.

God Bless,

COG