In Support of Strong Puppy

[MJontheMend]

I think this is true but for some reason despite my H's weak-puppy-please-be-a-cow thing, whenever I was nurturing cow in our early M he would rebuff me. Maybe he was rebuffing his own weak puppy. Or maybe I was reminding him of weak puppy when he was in another mode. I never did the cow thing in response to the puppy. Just has he is LD in the sack he is also somewhat LD of being fed, often leaves half the food on his plate, declines the proffered extra pork chop (in which case I would eat it). More weak and ailing puppy stuff? Too weak to even eat? In which case what WAS he looking for. Anyway he would most likely then go and find the ice-cream tub and polish the lot off without even bothering with a bowl.

Of course, my 2bx is almost your H's twin separated at birth and by an ocean. My 2bx would simply complain about the food much of the time but then go ahead and eat it - lol. This is why I think Dr. Laura is only half right. If you don't feed/f*ck/admire a man your bad but if you do feed/f*ck/admire him and he doesn't do the masculine equivalent and you don't call him on it then your bad again.

Or should I just try to vibe strong bunny?

Yup. My hindsight is 20/20 vision allows me to see that this is the one thing I could have done better. My lioness was also relatively weak when I joined the BB but she was functioning relatively well by the time my marriage broke up. The problem is that if a man has a weak St.Bernard he is often going to vibe dysfunctional in relation to strong bunny. For instance, one of my demands at the time of my separation was that we have some kind of date night once a week, even just going out for coffee, and my 2bx was just as disinclined to honor this demand as my demand for more sex. My bad in this instance was that, in a sense, I was using my lioness to support my weak bunny. I was "demanding" a date night rather than using a verb more appropriate to bunny which I still don't know what it would be - lol.

Anyways, consider the simple example of a man opening a door for you. If I had just stood in front of a door waiting for my 2bx to open it for me, odds are good I might have heard something like "WTF are you standing there for?" to which strong bunny might have smiled and replied "Why of course I'm waiting for you to open the door for me." Now, since my 2bx tended towards using dysfunctional wolf to cover his weak puppy he might have seen this as me asking him to placate and refused in a rude/sarcastic/abusive manner but terminator-bunny could have just continued to smile and stand there waiting for him to open the door until perhaps some random polite stranger happened by and opened it for me -lol.

I don't even know where she hangs out anymore.

((Fran))

She's still there. I was amazed at how easily she reappeared when I started dating and men actually did do things like open doors for me and help me with my coat and buy me dinner and kiss me on the forehead and tell me that they really liked it when I rolled in for a cuddle. It's really easy to do your part of the dance when your partner does his. But back to the old BB motto- you're the one who's here so you're the one who needs to in a sense take the lead by refusing to take the lead or assertively following or something like that.