Well, I don't know if the stars aligned or if things I've done have made the difference but my W obliged me with 3 nights in a row of intimacy. The first night I was already asleep and she woke me up and initiated. I was still in my "unfeeling" funk and was really tired so I wasn't too enthusiastic. But wow, she was determined and did all the work so what the heck! I kept thinking to my self "Who is this woman and what did she do with my wife?" I can't help but think the fact I had turned her down a week or so before, been distant from her, and the openly eyeing other women in front of her somehow increased her desire. Not just a desire to make me happy but true desire. Don't ask me to explain how that worked!

That episode pretty much brought me to my old high desire self again. So the next night I initiated and she was into it for the most part. The third night she wasn't really into it, and said so, but it happened anyway. She did say before we got started not to expect it again for "some time". I can't complain at all but of course I'm wondering how long "some time" is. A week? A month? Do I need to go back to being distant and eyeing other women in front of her? Fortunately work has me too busy to over contemplate things like I normally do.

After three nights our R seems great, yet I doubt any permanent change is occuring. We have a 3yr old (who is a complete terror these days) and a 6yr old. It seems that either I am handling the kids and she's out of the picture or vice versa. Seldom is there full family interaction. Lately I've been taking the kids to the beach or other places to let my W have time for herself. She is really into scrapbooking with her friends. This makes it easy for me to keep my distance from her if I want and still get a lot of time in with the kids. Plus, I feel a lot better about our sitch by making it obvious I can handle the kids by myself without any trouble or complaining. (W complains big time if she has to handle the kids for very long without me).

Sooner, maybe you could just take the kids to McDonalds one night a week without your wife. Play it up as giving her some free time while putting a little distance between you? I've done this some lately. Trying this "distance" thing sure seems like playing with fire though. I guess I haven't really been playing but letting my actions follow my feelings.

FredD

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.