Quoting sooner1992:I'm tempted to stay away from the house as much as possible - start going out for drinks more often, take up a hobby that keeps me away from home (golf for instance) - but in so doing I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with my girls. I'm just getting tired of this mundane life and I need some sort of change. Let me know if anyone has any good ideas.
About three years ago I started doing just that. But I always tried to involve my boys when possible. For example, we started camping on weekends. Sometimes the whole family, but often us guys would take off for the whole weekend and leave mom at home alone.
Anyway, your girls might like golf, or tennis, or maybe fishing. Take them along and leave mom at home alone (or with the littlest one) for an afternoon. If she wants to come, make it a family outing. But -- this is key -- plan events that you enjoy without regard to your wife's enjoyment or preference. If she doesn't want to participate, tell her you're giving her a break, make it a positive thing.
I also started some volunteer work on evenings after work. Now I am busy two or three nights a week sometimes. Over time, my wife has become very supportive of my activities. I think she respects the fact I have a life of my own outside of work and marriage.
Now when I cancel an evening activity and instead ask her out to a movie, she is very appreciative. I only started doing this the last couple of weeks (after giving her SSM to read) and it has helped improve our sex life, too. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before!
It helps, though, to have an activity or event to cancel or skip. Then it becomes a lot more special, even though before I would give her every night of the week.
