Haven't posted for awhile...things have been moving along well. I think that sometimes its important to post just to let people know that this can work, and also the retrouvaille program.
We dialogued last night, and talked about what emotions or feelings that we don't like in ourselves, and have a hard time dealing with. H said guilt, he still has alot of guilt, at which point he really talked about it, which isn't something he would have ever done before. He said that he still has what happened come into his head at least 5 times aday, and I asked do you mean think about her, he said no, not at all, but what he did to us, and how he behaved was totally against how he had been brought up, and against who he thought he was. We also talked alittle about how I feel, I said that its the same for me, that it still comes into my head, but its no longer unmanageable, and that I can usually move the thoughts out fairly quick, and I don't dwell on it like I used to,. I also said that my biggest problems seem to be around certain dates, so he asked how did you cope with the 9th! This was the day he had threatened to kill himself, and we had to get the police involved...I was suprised, that he would even acknowledge it! So I said it was a hard day, but not as hard as I though, and I got through it and we have moved on. He was the same way!
So I guess that the point I want to get to is that all of this can work, if you stick with it...and if you can get into the retrouvaille it can do nothing but good! It has given us a tool that has allowed us to communicate like we have never done before. I truly feel that we are now really building a grown up relationship, and that we will talk and communicate like never before!!
So keep strong!!!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
