Frank, as I remember it, you had the best success previously when you detached and just did your own thing, relying on her for nothing. You were in the same house and you were cordial but you were prepping yourself at that time for her departure. You began to live as if since she was "leaving" you'd best be getting used to her being gone so you acted accordingly - and it drew her back.
Remember that?
Maybe you can get to that place again.
But this time, do some real work on yourself while you are there.
