Strange. I think of a woman doing your description above... nesting, baking pies, and doing that warm cozy stuff for me, and I want to slowly take all her clothes off and snuggle her whilst making love with her. I think the cow is damn sexy and definitely has a place in the rotation.
Ewh!
The cow, to me, is NOT repeat NOT sexy. Something my H will sometimes do when I am up to my armpits in soap-suds is come up and start canoodling me from behind. I absolutely HATE it. I hate the fact that seeing me doing this stuff is what turns him on. Seeing me really digging in and getting down to some hard-core household chores seems to be his porn. Excuse my while I vomit.
It comes down to LLs I guess. His LL is AOS so when I am busy doing that stuff he sees it as me "loving" him. When I am busy doing that stuff I am not doing it to love him. I am doing it because it needs doing. I can hardly feel less loving than when I am doing household chores. They are CHORES they need to be got over with so that life can go on and I can do more interesting stuff. The last thing I want is to be interrupted in the middle of them for some hot-luvin leaving the chores still hanging over me. Maybe if he did it after the chores were done to show me his appreciation of my hard work or something I would respond a bit better.
Just thinking about the whole zoo thing. My parents largely vibed monkey with each other except when my dad would turn wolf and mum would vibe weak bunny. My in-laws vibe strong bunny/puppy with each other with very strong elements of Cow and St Bernard. There doesn't seem to be much sign of monkey, or wolf/lioness.
H vibes weak puppy, no monkey, over-stretched St Bernard with a wolf that snarls occasionally when the St Bernard's had enough.
When we were first M I vibed mostly monkey (which is still my response to his weak puppy) and mostly lioness. The bunny was and still is very weak and kept well hidden for her own protection. (I think my parents very under-developed cow/st bernard may have something to do with that.) The cow has always been there in moderation. I think due to my undeveloped cow and his own mother's very strong cow my H would vibe puppy to try and bring out the cow. In my eyes all pupplies are weak which is why I bring out the monkey - to try and laugh away this aberration of nature. If my response is monkey he brings out the wolf for protection after initially playing even weaker puppy, if my response is lioness he reverts to resigned and long-suffering St Bernard. Of course the cow came out of the pen when the kids came along - which goes a long way to explain his jealousy.
When I was a little kid we sometimes used to get to watch nature movies in the school hall on a Friday afternoon. Cute furry animals with big eyes would sometimes feature and there would be a general sigh of AAAAAH! I would look around to see if there was anyone else like me that didn't automatically have an aaaah response. I've since talked about that with my sister and she agrees she felt the exact same way.
Am I dysfunctional for having a puke response to a grown man for trying to pull a puppy-dog-eyes look on me? Or is he dysfunctional for even trying it?
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
