All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Just re this on Frank_D post, this is so true and this is what I bellieve my H did to me on NYE:

When we think destructively with anxiety that is "victim-thinking", "martyr-thinking", or masochism. It is where you take on a "poor me" attitude, erroneously believing that you are truly hopeless, or helpless. You worry about the future and complain without offering solutions. You regret the past, and essentially are wishing you controlled the uncontrollable, "dumping" your anxiety into someone else's boundary. Doing all this may seem harmless, but it is not. You are dumping your anxiety into someone else to let them worry about for you. It is childish, win/lose behavior, where you win relief but someone else loses their sense of peace, by absorbing your negative energy.

I did lose my own personal boundaries and my own peace. Great to see it put so well.

All quiet this week. Back to work, so less time on our hands.
I'm reading 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus' & also dipped into the 5LL. Can't work out H's LL, but I have tried with more words of affirmation (H has helped me a lot this week with getting my skis and equipment ready for my trip tomorrow, so i've tried a lot of cheerleading).

Next Week H moves back into the house for a week while i'm away so he can look after the boys. He has to work late a couple of nights and has asked me to ask my mom if she could help out until later.

I replied and said it was sad he had to work and cover for lack of staff and I would let him know about my mom. I didn't go mad that he had had plenty of notice to arrange cover, I validated his feelings, but didn't enlarge on what he felt was a huge problem. I felt I handled that sitch much better than I would have previously.

I'm not sure know whether to text him next week or not?
(I'll call the boys when they are in from School), I know H would be happy to hear from me, (bearing in mind, less is not more)would it be better to have an air of mystery or contact him and tell him how we're doing?

X

Eve