It's been about 10 days since I last posted so I thought I'd give a quick update. I tried for about two weeks to take a break from worrying about the relationship and was somewhat successful in finding other things to keep my mind occupied. I installed a pull-down attic ladder in the garage then floored the attic. Sweaty, sawdusty work! Anyway, by this past weekend things were starting to bother me again. I got in a brief spat with my wife but instead of not letting the argument die (as I usually do) I just left the house to go buy plywood without even saying that I was leaving. Kind of ticked her off I think, but when I later told her that I was just trying to get away to stop the argument she seemed okay with it. We even went out and saw a band that night.
Throughout those two weeks that I "took a break" I tried to show her no affection and just get along like friends or roommates. But I felt like I was putting on an act, which I suppose I was, and I really don't like having to do that. So I decided to write her another letter, explaining in more detail what I believe about marriage, intimacy, etc. and the reasons why I want to rekindle the physical intimacy in our marriage. I spent several evenings working on it and ended up with 4 pages - a bit long but I thought it turned out well. It clarified a lot about how I feel. I had to go out of town yesterday so after she had gone to work I printed it out and left it on the counter for her. We talked on the phone last night but she didn't mention it, nor did I. So I really have no idea if it might help, hurt, or have no impact whatsoever. Guess I'll just wait and see. I plan to just leave her alone for a while to think about things.
Not a very exciting update I know, but that's really all that's going on with me.
